International adoption can sometimes be romanticized, or can create a savior mentality. I’ve often heard, “Oh, he is so lucky you saved him!” Yes, my son is blessed, but so are we! We searched the world for him; so yeah, we are lucky to have found him, but he has completed our family and saved us more so than us saving him! Adopting internationally can be scary and it isn’t for everyone. When we adopted from Russia we thought we were prepared for what was coming. We were adventurous, loved to travel, and wanted a time frame for our first adoption situation. We had no idea the level of trust, the physical toll, the mental exhaustion, and ultimately the unknown changes that were ahead! Here are a few reasons why international adoption needs a lot of consideration before diving in.

International Adoption Involves a Lot of Trust 

Trusting complete strangers is a huge part of international adoption. Paying thousands of dollars in agency fees doesn’t sound appealing to anyone, but when you get in your chosen country, and have to carry thousands of dollars in cash to hand over to a stranger, you really hope it’s going to a good cause and not just being pocketed. Writing the checks to our agency didn’t seem half as bad. We had to have total trust in our agency and the adoption professional they sent to take care of us. We also knew when traveling abroad, we would have to trust our agency to arrange the transportation and all of our translating.

Thankfully, we had a wonderful agency that by the third trip we were quite comfortable that there would always be someone waiting for us at the airports or hotels. But, at first it was very scary to walk off a plane in the St. Petersburg, Russia International Airport. All we could do was hope someone was there to take us to a completely different domestic airport to catch our next flight! Not knowing the language and more surprising how to read the language put us at a huge disadvantage. We felt like little kids before learning to read!

International Adoption Involves Travel (Duh)

The trust factor we could work on and see that we had chosen the right agency. We could do nothing about how hard the traveling was on our bodies. Traveling through time zones, lay overs in different countries, trying to sleep on and off the planes, jet lag; these are all just words until you experience them.

On our third trip, my husband had a simple cold before we left, but after traveling it compounded and made for a miserable trip! While in Russia the time difference was 12-14 hours. That meant we were wide awake in the middle of the night, and running on excitement and adrenaline during the day. Not to mention the worry that comes with making sure you always have your passports, following all the rules so not to offend anyone, or the possibility of getting thrown in jail!

Most countries require you to travel at least once. You need to be prepared to be physically capable enough to handle the travel international adoption will bring. We made these trips four times due to some unforeseen problems that not everyone will face, but everyone should be prepared for.

Why International Adoption Risks the Unknown

We chose an international adoption because we liked many options it could offer, a timeline being one of them. We knew the risks of changes short notice, but never thought we could be affected. After making our first trip to meet our sibling referral, signing the papers to adopt our kids, and two days before making our second trip, we got a phone call that changed everything.

The aunt of our children, who had never visited them before, had been contacted and she wanted to keep them. Devastated is an understatement. Being mentally prepared and strong enough to handle the unknown is a must for at least one of the adopting parents. My husband helped me pull myself back together to make that next trip. Meeting our little man was such a blessing after the unknown of traveling back with no solution to losing our first kids. Leaving our kids every time in the orphanage, until we returned, was also so hard. I knew it was part of the process, but it didn’t make it any easier. All I wanted to do was take them home that moment and love on them.

No, international adoption isn’t for everyone, but neither is parenthood. It will come with a lot of ups and downs, but if you can mentally and physically handle whatever international adoption could bring it is totally worth it! I wouldn’t trade our experiences or my boy for anything in the world! 

If you are interested in beginning a foreign adoption, visit Adoption.com/international for guidance.

Samantha Morgan is a two-time adoptive mom and infertility survivor. Experienced in international and domestic adoption, Samantha loves sharing her motherhood story and experiences to help others find hope in their journey. Founder of Rush to Hope Ministries, she strives to build connections between people with similar paths so no one has to walk alone. You can read more from Samantha or get connected at RushtoHopeMinistries.com.

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With so many agencies to choose from, it can be quite intimidating. And you want to be very selective because of your finances, timeline, and sanity may depend on it! Here is my advice when choosing an international adoption agency.

First and foremost be in prayer and allow God to lead your decision; He knows where your littles will be! Have a good idea of the country or region you would like to adopt from before looking for an agency, and ask yourself some tough questions. What age range, race, gender, and disability level are you willing to accept? What is your timeline and budget? Talking about these questions will get you ready to discuss them with an agency so you are not blindsided with them all at once! Also, having these major questions worked out will help you avoid an agency steering you to a country where they need more adoptive parents, not where you feel led.

Now that you have worked all that out it’s time to find an agency. Here are seven things to consider when choosing the right international agency for you!

1. Research.

Do your homework on the country or countries you are interested in. As you search, you will find agencies who specialize in that country. Watch adoption stories on YouTube from that country, use Facebook to find groups or pages for people adopting from or that have adopted from that country.

2. Ask.

Talk to as many people as you can find, and ask them what agency they used. You want to find out if they would use that international adoption agency again, how was the communication, how was the travel arrangements, was the agency timeline and price accurate to what they paid?

3. Options.

Do not go with the first agency you find; you have options! The international adoption agency you use does not need to be in the state you live, you may never actually meet your caseworker. The only agency worker I ever met was in country! Contact several agencies before deciding on THE ONE. Call them, ask to talk with a caseworker for your country, ask them to mail or email you the country program fee schedule, and ask any other questions you may have. You will be spending a lot of money with them, consider this a job interview for them

4. Established.

Look for an agency that has been in the country of your choice for several years. Those agencies will have established good relationships with the orphanages and governments in your chosen country. This will make a huge difference. If you are really adventurous you could help an agency pilot a program in a new county, but make sure the agency has been working in similar countries.

5. Research again.

After you have narrowed the agencies you feel comfortable with, do your research on the agency. Every agency must be licensed by a state authority, and make sure you understand the difference between being licensed and being accredited. Look them up on Better Business Bureau. Read reviews, good and bad. When looking at a poor review check the date it was written. The agency may have taken that review to heart and updated policies or undergone staffing changes to alleviate those problems.

6. Agency references.

Ask for and contact references from the agency. Of course agency references will be good, but they can answer truthfully about communication between them and their caseworker, accuracy of the time frame, and travel experiences.

7. Small or large. 

Sometimes bigger isn’t always better. It’s easy to become just a number to the largest, most well-known agencies. Using a smaller international adoption agency may give you the one-on-one feel you are looking for, and less competition may mean faster placements. On the other hand, you may not need your hand held and feel a larger agency will know exactly how to get the job done.

Again, pray for God to lead you. After all this you will have a good feeling and connection with an agency. It will more than likely be THE ONE!

If you are ready to adopt an orphan and begin your foreign adoption journey, visit Adoption.com/international.

Samantha Morgan is a two-time adoptive mom and infertility survivor. Experienced in international and domestic adoption, Samantha loves sharing her motherhood story and experiences to help others find hope in their journey. Founder of Rush to Hope Ministries, she strives to build connections between people with similar paths so no one has to walk alone. You can read more from Samantha or get connected at RushtoHopeMinistries.com.

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